When staying is sometimes the better option.
While I was in the process of writing my Year Ahead post and looking back on what has been a fairly successful year of blogging (for the girl who’s started and stopped about three or more in the past) I realised that the one thing I don’t have over here, is something that’s unique to me. A couple of my favourite bloggers all have regular features, whether that’s a monthly round up, weekly favourites, or one of my personal favourites, The Fitness Files from Anna of Viviannadoesmakeup. I’ve decided my own offering will be a weekly post on what’s mostly been occupying my mind that week. A couple of thoughts and feelings, a few favourites, maybe something a bit more personal to me and will give a little snippet of my life.
The first one of the year is a topic that’s been on my mind and making me live in limbo for the last few weeks. When the decision of whether to move or stay first came up I thought I’d mull it over for a bit and answer would come to me. Life doesn’t really work like that for me and consequently I ended up hauling boxes up stairs, frantically bleaching everywhere and handing over keys before rushing homehome on Christmas Eve.
If you had bumped into me a few months ago, I would have told you that I wasn’t going to be here after Christmas. In my current town. I was sick of it, sick of all the weird things and people here. Tired of my flat above a noisy pub and the smoking area you had to fight your way through to get to the front door. I was bored of my job that, at the start of the year had seemed such a great foot in the door, and tired of the admin. I wanted a fresh start and something new in a place that wasn’t so unfamiliar and isolated. And yet where am I now? I’m still right here.
I’ve read so many articles that say if you’re not happy where you are or doing what you do, that you should just change it. Simple as that, just change your circumstances and life will give you a pat on the back and a go with the happy card. But what if you’re neither happy nor unhappy? What if the thought of changing everything makes you wonder if it will be for the better or the worse and there’s no way of telling what the outcome will be? In my case the option was either stay in Bristol, in said job and weird surroundings or move back home to London, find a new job, commute everyday and pay extortionate rent.
In a case when both sides of the coin looked the same I did the opposite of what those articles suggested. I stayed. In the same job and place, but in a new flat with my boyfriend. And instead of feeling like I’m stuck, stale and stagnating, it suddenly feels fresher and more positive. I want to fill my new flat with plants, put photos on the walls and explore my new area. I want to talk to new people at work, find new opportunities and create something half resembling a network for myself.
Staying is often regarded as the easy way out, staying in your comfort zone and not taking risks. But staying and working with what you already have can be just as good for you. It’s improvement but without the added stress of literally starting from scratch.
Im very aware of my word count, and the fact that I intended this to be a positive post, so I’ll call it a day here. I guess the point of all these words is that sometimes you don’t need to change everything about your life in order to feel like you’re moving forward, you just need a new perspective.